The resentments of Mike Monson one sentence at a time #1

28 Jan

All the other proofreaders at that big San Francisco law firm who acted all snooty because they were published poets and had PhDs and shit and who were mean to me when I got hired because I wasn’t one of their poet friends and then acted all weird about the fact that I was a horrible proofreader and got me forced out of the proofreading department and into being a case assistant in the asbestos litigation department.

That teacher in charge of the playwriting section in the San Francisco State University creative writing master’s program who on my first day in my first class in the program told me in front of all the other students to take back my new plays that I’d put in his in-box over the summer because he had no intention of reading them unless I happened to be in one of his playwriting workshops, which, by the way, he wasn’t planning on having any time soon.

That man who worked at the public interest ad agency in San Francisco where I was the temp receptionist for three months who had written a big deal book against television that I read while sitting there all day who when I started talking to him about the book ignored me and just asked me if he had any messages before quickly walking away.

The law firm client who needed people to blame for a huge loss and who blamed me for no good reason getting me fired even though I actually wanted to get fired from that job because I was not good and was always screwing up just not in the way that guy thought.

The barbers at that place where I shined shoes when I was 12 and 13 who thought it was funny when I didn’t realize that one of my customers that was always so nice to me and took me out for pizza once was a pervert and didn’t warn me about him even though I luckily figured it out for myself just in time.

That girl who worked with me at Ralphs Market on 17th in Costa Mesa when I was 20 who was so afraid of hurting my feelings when I asked her out that she said yes and failed to mention that that huge guy from produce was her fiancé and then just didn’t show up for the date she had accepted which then caused a very awkward conversation between me and that huge guy from produce making me not show up ever again which got me fired from that really good union job.

All the teachers, counselors, and administrators of all the schools I attended kindergarten though 12th grade who treated me as just an average student without much potential and who should have seen just how brilliant I was even though I never had better than a C average the whole time.

Those two guys that I worked with at that awful blue collar temp job in Austin in 1986 who whenever I went to the restroom asked me if I was going to “choke the chicken” and then would laugh when I got all embarrassed and turned red because I didn’t even get what they were talking about but had my suspicions and then teased me about that same stupid joke for five weeks straight.

8 Responses to “The resentments of Mike Monson one sentence at a time #1”

  1. Isaac Kirkman January 28, 2013 at 11:01 am #

    I’ve come to really enjoy these posts. Well said.

  2. Mike Monson January 28, 2013 at 11:03 am #

    Isaac Kirkman is NOT one of my resentments.

  3. Dyer Wilk (@DyerWilk) January 28, 2013 at 11:08 am #

    Two words: “Fuck ’em!”

    People judge because it’s easier than taking a good hard look at themselves and admitting that they don’t like what they see. We’ve all been screwed over by people like that. When I was a kid, I read very slowly and got bad grades. People called me slow, which pissed me off because I knew it was just another word for “retard.” Never mind that I’ve always ranked above average on IQ tests and have a killer memory. It didn’t help that I was socially awkward and girls would laugh at me because I was overweight, or that assholes would whip me with wet towels in gym class and ask me if I jerked off and ate my own semen. And that’s just up until high school.

    Life is a bitch and it’s filled with selfish prick assholes. So yeah, “Fuck ’em!”

    We know what we are worth. They can’t take that away from us.

  4. Mike Monson January 28, 2013 at 11:10 am #

    And, what I really hate is the fact that I’ve acted like a sonofabitch to people about a thousand times.

    • Dyer Wilk (@DyerWilk) January 28, 2013 at 11:17 am #

      Sometimes we can’t help it. We get frustrated and lose perspective and lash out at the wrong people. We stoke that anger because it’s the only thing that seems to make sense at the time.

  5. Chris Rhatigan January 28, 2013 at 6:41 pm #

    This is great stuff.

  6. paymaan February 4, 2013 at 3:30 pm #

    that was funny

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